It’s 7:59pm and I’ve just finished cleaning up dinner. I still need to shower, work on a major project that I’ve been procrastinating to do, clean up the mess that is my floor and watch Odd Mom Out. I check my baby monitor and my two little boys are finally asleep. Finally. I take a moment to reflect on the day before I start tackling my next item on the to do list.
These days, they are long. The nights, they are short.
During the day I find my patience level basically non-existent, but at night all I want to do is sneak into the nursery and stare at my babies as they sleep. Sometimes I even yearn to wake them up so that I can see their eyes looking at me.
And then I step on a rogue lego and snap back out of it. It’s better that they’re asleep.
These moments, they are but fleeting. The tantrums, the hugs, the messes, the CRUMBS {oh the crumbs will eventually kill me I’m sure of it}, the kisses, the laughs, the cuddles, the baths.
I’m officially done having children and not a day goes by that I don’t remind myself to savor each and every moment. I try so hard. I hug just a little longer. I give kisses more than my kids probably like, but I can’t help it. I probably am overcompensating for the number of times I snap during the day {which is embarrassingly high}.
My mom used to say that you get 18 years and that’s it. All of the time you get to spend with your children after that is a bonus.
Thinking about 18 years seems a bit overwhelming, but my firstborn is almost in pre-k and my second born is no longer a baby. I swear I just gave birth a second ago.
I know when people who are older tell me to enjoy these moments because they grow up so fast they really mean it. I may not feel like receiving it as my children are having epic meltdowns on the street corner because I stepped on a crack {whoever said boys weren’t dramatic had never had a boy}.
But I truly believe these older mamas are merely trying to give the wisdom that while the tantrum is literally making me rethink having children altogether, it won’t last long. And there will come a day when I help my son move into his new place and my home will never be his home again. {Now I’m starting to cry just thinking about that}
So, I will savor these moments that are fleeting.
I will hug just a bit longer. I will give kisses at every chance I can. I will try my absolute hardest to not snap at every single crumb that hits the floor. And I will love them with the fiercest love that I have.
