I have to say that one of my favorite shows was “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” I loved that show even before I had children. And now that I do it’s completely accurate. Kids truly do say the most bizarre, often unintelligible, counterintuitive and quite frankly straight up weirdest things. I haven’t had children too long, but here is a list of my top thus far.
10. A word that rhymes with Buckle – I can’t actually post this word, but we were playing the rhyming game and I stupidly said: “what word rhymes with buckle?” To which my step-daughter replied with something that starts with the 6th letter of the alphabet….. you can guess that. We simply glossed over it and kept playing because well, she didn’t know what she was saying. However, now that she’s older we can’t help but bring it up every so often.
9. “You look better with your sunglasses on” – Yes, this was said to me by a little girl at the park. Her mother was mortified, I just laughed and told her most people feel the same way.
8. “You look pregnant like my mommy” – I was told this by a girl I was babysitting when I was 13. Yeah, apparently my gut was gigantic. However, in my defense, her mother was 8 months pregnant and out running through the snow and ice while I watched her other three children so anyone would look bigger than her.
7. “You have golden teeth!” – My step-daughter told my husband this one while we were at the pool. She genuinely thought she was giving him a compliment. Now he has a complex.
6. “I have a small penis and my daddy has a giant penis.” – This was my son talking to one of my best friends as he put on his shoes. Because that’s normal conversation. (Also my husband was really proud of this one.)
5. “Mommy! Get into the fart! Let’s hide in the fart!” – My son was trying to say fort. Our neighbors are probably trying to figure out how we were hiding in a fart. And also how quickly they can sell considering our house is filled with fart.
4. “Mommy, how much weight does that man have to lose?” – My brother said this to my mom while pointing at a man who was rather overweight. In my brother’s defense, my mom had been really into watching Sweating to the Oldies.
3. “WHY do we have to eat dinner means we HAVE TO GO OUT TO EAT DINNER!” – This one really confused me at first. My son kept asking me over and over why we had to eat dinner and finally he got frustrated and said that. His decision was to eat at Chick-fil-A – his favorite restaurant.
2. “I can’t like it.” – This was me. It really is something that rings true even now. There are things I can’t like. My two-year-old self was way ahead of the game.
1. “Mommy, I love you impossible” – This one just breaks my cold heart of stone. And of course, my son says it right after tearing apart my wedding video.
