The 5 Most Dingbatty Things I Said BEFORE I Became A Mom.

Yes, I know, it’s hard to believe that I could ever say anything dingbatty – yep made that word up too. However, before becoming a mom I actually said quite a few things about motherhood that I’m now completely embarrassed to admit.

1. “I will NEVER have toys in my living room.” – I said this while I was pregnant with my first child.  Yes, I truly thought that I would keep all of my child’s toys in his bedroom.  There was no need to have toys strewn about the living room.  Don’t these parents know how to keep things nice?  Of course, I also said this to a friend who has an excellent memory and she loves to remind me of my superior quote every time she comes over and sees this.
2. “If your baby isn’t sleeping through the night at three months – YOU’RE doing something wrong.”Honestly, I think this is the worst thing I could have probably ever said.  Because neither of my children slept through the night at three months.  In fact, I know a very tiny percentage of people who miraculously had babies who slept through the night this early.  Oh, karma – you truly are my worst enemy.
3. “I don’t understand how moms say they don’t have time to shower!”– I’m just a dingbat.  I remember saying this to my friend before my son was born.  I was so naive.  I really just thought that you could put the baby down and shower.  I mean where was the baby going to go?  Silly, silly me.  This became an extremely rude awakening after my son was born.  I couldn’t believe how much a baby needed to be held and fed.  I never had time to even go to the bathroom let alone shower!
4. “I would NEVER bribe my child” – Little did I know that bribing is the only way to negotiate with my tiny toddler.  I’m constantly in a hostage situation when in Target.  Either we can get out the store unscathed finding something in the dollar section to pacify him.  OR I can drag him kicking and screaming through the entire store while also pushing my cart and attempting to not murder everyone in my way.  Sometimes a $1 bribe is worth it.
5. “I have a very high tolerance for pain so giving birth should be no problem.” – If this isn’t a dingbatty thing to say then I don’t know what is!  Giving birth was the absolute worst pain I have ever felt and I had drugs to help me get through it!  I’m not trying to scare anyone, but there is a reason Eve’s curse increasing birthing pains was a CURSE!

There are basically hundreds of ridiculous things I said before I became a mother.  What are some of the dingbatty things that you’ve said?