Being A Social Nomad In A Place Full Of Tribes

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So I think I am a social nomad.

This is new to me. I am lucky to be able to say I have a lot of friends and I always have. As someone who has lived in many places, I have groups from different stages of my life, but they are all very defined groups. My school friends who I have known since I was 11, my university friends who I met at 18, my mummy friends who found each other when our babies were all a few months old, my work friends from my longest running teaching job where I worked for 8 years, the friends I met when I first moved to Sheffield. I have some individual best friends who don’t fall into those categories, but mostly if I want to see a particular friend there will always be a group of us.

That is until I moved here.

When we moved from England to California I didn’t know anyone, so I tried to forge bonds with everyone I met who I felt a connection with. The result of this is that I don’t really have a tribe here like I am used to.

I have people who I adore but most of them are part of their own tribe.

It isn’t a bad thing most of the time. We get asked to go along to fun parties and group events and I do coffee with friends and dinner. I have people I can call if I am bored or if I want to have a giggle with a girlfriend. We have friends as a couple that we double date and a really fun group who we have game nights with.

BUT I miss my tribes.

It is hard to explain. I know I am loved here, but occasionally I see photos of girlfriends with their tribes and it makes me sad that I don’t have something I am so used to having. Something I probably took a little for granted.

Of course, this is part of the territory of moving somewhere at this time in life. Most people here have their little groups of friends, just like I do at home. Sometimes it can feel hard to infiltrate those groups fully.

This is why I came to the realisation that I am a social nomad. I have lots of people who are my friends, but I do not belong to any one tribe. I am a floating member of many!

Almost 2 years into our adventure and I see how lucky I am to have made so many friends here. I don’t often feel lonely anymore and I certainly feel loved by the friends I have here.

Yes, I miss my tribes but our experience here has turned into this crazy journey of self-discovery. I didn’t realise I would learn so much about myself by moving. But I am brave and I have learned to be fearless and throw myself into social situations.

So what if I am a social nomad? My biggest fear about moving was not managing to make friends. I am proud of our family for making a life so far from ‘home’.

being a social nomad in a place full of tribes

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Viv Jones
I am Viv, stay at home mom (mummy) to Edison who is 7 and Arlo who is 5. I am married to my best friend and university sweetheart Steve. In October 2014 we moved 5321 miles from our beautiful Victorian home in Sheffield, England to Anaheim Hills and are loving the wild adventure this move has turned our life into. I am so very grateful that this move has given me the opportunity to quit my kinder teacher role to stay home with my crazy whirlwinds and enjoy the adventures of modern motherhood. I love farmers markets with my little foodies, antique shops, restoring antique finds, reading, baking, eating out and trying not to spend everything we have in Target! Oh and chips. I LOVE chips (crisps for any Brits reading this). All the chips.