I used to think that going to work in an office was kind of a drag. Even though I enjoyed the people I worked with, I still had to behave myself, speak diplomatically, and accomplish something meaningful each day.
Boy, do I sound unambitious or what?
Hence, this is why I was assigned seating toward the back of the office. And in a corner which shared a partition with only one, very quiet neighbor.
Coincidentally, management soon noticed that this was not at all the proper environment for me. Thank you, Jane Goodall! It was hard for me to focus alone and in a corner of acrylic carpeting and under fluorescent lights. A window might have helped. But, management agreed that I’d probably be more productive if I could at least see other humans. And, more emotionally stable.
What’s Your Point, Kylee?
Having experienced an absence of socialization in the work place helped me to quickly identify what I needed when I decided to stay home with young kids. Like many moms, I require human interaction, (and lots of it). After all, I’m a social creature. A congenitally awkward creature, but social nonetheless.
However, when it came time to make the transition from a fully socialized work day to a day of seclusion with a newborn, I wasn’t quite sure where to start. At work, someone noticed that I needed help. At home, I had to figure it out for myself.
What I’ve Learned:
Story time is cool until it interferes with nap time. (My nap time, that is). Parks are great, too. But, it can be hard to really connect with people in the middle of a splash pad.
By the way, skip the sundress if there’s any chance you might have to crawl through any sort of tubing to dislodge or retrieve a child. I’ve made this mistake and apologize to everyone at Chic-Fil-A who had to see that.
And, then there are Mom Groups! Oh, so many mom groups! How does one decide where to commit her very limited time?
Seeking the socialization required to survive these early years can be tricky. I get it. There is a lot that goes into it.
- Am I really even in the mood?
- Can I make it outside of the house on time and with any amount of dignity?
- What should I wear? (My black yoga pants or… my black yoga pants?)
- How can I shake the pack of feral cats that have been following me around since I started nursing?
Ladies, motherhood is all about becoming! We all have grand visions of who we want to be or who we are supposed to be but it doesn’t always add up to who we’re becoming. Trust me, I know this is a wildly inefficient thought process, but it’s also a blessing.
Or is it an “affliction?” I can’t remember! Either way, each stage seems to leave me in the dust. Sure, the blessing is easy to see. But, the process as a whole feels more like sharing a public restroom with a four-year-old.
Please don’t open the door yet. Mommy is still pulling up her pants.
The Process of Becoming
Clearly, I am never ready! I’m not ready for breakfast in the morning and I’m not ready for a two-year-old who demands a charcuterie board and a wine list from her carseat on the way to Target. Having worldly penchants are great. But, this is about my process. Not hers. After all, she’s part of the reason why my process has slowed to the speed of a senile cat and a third trimester pregnancy. Plus, I just colored a singing pig dressed in a Taylor Swift catsuit (and liked it).
What am I saying?
I digress. My last post emphasized the importance of socialization. Yet, I would imagine that many women are like me in that they are carrying grand visions which exist outside of mere social needs. In fact, I would bet that having a vision for one’s self, family, finances, and marriage are at the top of the list. But, motherhood – as beautiful a gift as it is – can toy with our devices to produce all that we have envisioned.
We don’t have to go at this alone. Especially since we all occur within a number of subcategories (see below). Perhaps this why we struggle to reconcile ourselves.
Who am I? Who am I supposed to be?
For me, I had a very clear vision of who I wanted to become, but I struggled to put it all together. I missed drawing my own income and completing marketable tasks. I missed my husband and our relationship prior to having children. In fact, the last time I think I saw his lusty gaze was when Bitcoin hit $20k.
Fortunately, all of this angst was put to rest when I joined Mothers of Preschoolers! It’s been one of my greatest blessings!
What is Mothers of Preschoolers?
Mothers of Preschoolers, more commonly referred to as MOPs, is a faith-based mothers ministry headquartered in Denver, Co. The organization offers women in the early stages of motherhood resources that promote growth and support in the following areas:
- Spirituality and Self
- Parenting with Purpose
- And more!
Plus, it is designed to support and encourage moms of all subcategories:
- Working Moms
- Stay-at-home Moms
- Single Moms
- Moms of Children with Special Needs
- Moms who pack boxes of Franzia in their emergency earthquake kits
Still, each group is customized to meet the personality of the community it serves. This means that different MOPs groups have different charms!
It’s a productive group, too! Expert speakers, mentor moms, and prayer offer insight to many of our visible and philosophical questions. From this, many of us are able to restructure our grand visions so that they may finally take flight.
Did I mention the free breakfasts?
For more information about MOPs, or to find a group near you, visit their website or contact me. I’d be happy to share with you more about our particular group.
Or, if you’re looking for a secular mommy group, there’s the Moms Club which has chapters all over Orange County. And be sure to join one of the neighborhood groups on our Orange County Moms Blog facebook page!