Woe is me, Monday holidays are not for me.
I feel resentful and a bunch of other unwanted emotions every time there is a Monday holiday…there I said it.
I know some of you SAHM are thinking duh, it’s hard of all of us we have a whole extra day of having to entertain our kids at home. I know some of you working mamas are thinking I’m not used to three consecutive days of 24/7 parenting and, phew I’m exhausted.
Neither of these things are exactly the reason why Monday holidays are so hard for me.
Let me explain.
I am self employed and I see clients on a fee for service basis. What does this mean? No work, no pay. No client, no income. This can be stressful on many levels. Here’s how it gets even more stressful.
Based on a series of events that happened as I started my practice, Mondays have become my longest day. In other words I see the most clients on Mondays. There was a period of time where on average I was making 70% of my monthly income on Mondays. This week (today actually) it happens to be 49%. (Yes I totally busted out a calculator to figure that out to make my point, don’t judge). Today also happens to be a “Monday holiday.” I think it’s Presidents Day, or Lincoln’s birthday, or the-government-just-needed-to-figure-out-another-day-to-be-closed day.
The one positive is I don’t have to scramble for childcare on Monday holidays because my husband has every holiday that is even remotely celebrated off from work.*
*SIDE NOTE: except for Martin Luther King Jr. day. Apparently this holiday is too close to their biggest work event of the year so they get a random extra Monday off in February to make up for it. For some reason it took me seven years to figure this out. MLK day was quite a scramble to find childcare. I will not go into details for fear of re-triggering the stress of that day…. That is all I will say about that.
So here comes the emotions of Monday holidays.
I HAVE to work. I mean one of my favorite positive affirmations is “I don’t have to do anything, and I can do anything.” But the consequence would be potentially not being able to pay the bills, so I choose to work. So I (full of resentful) leave the house while my husband and kids are in their pajamas having a dance party to the TROLLS soundtrack. I am JEALOUS. That’s right, green with envy. I’m tired and I want a fun or relaxing (mainly relaxing) day off.
Here comes the conflicting feelings.
It is a holiday so many of my clients don’t want to come in either. Sometimes I’m secretly grateful. Memorial Day I had no clients and I was happy (and also stressed). See the resentment and the FOMO isn’t there, but new feelings, stress ,and uncertainty. Will I make enough this week? Are we budgeting properly? Maybe I can’t do this and I should just get a “real” job?
Then instead of enjoying this gift of a rare extra day off with my family, I’m not present and I’m not calm.
Woe is me.
I thought about making this post the newest edition of my Making Lemonade out of Lemons series (see my previous posts), but I don’t think this is a common conflict? Is it?
If I’m not alone in this please let me know your experiences. I need some sisterhood here!
So instead of my lemonade recipe, I will just list what I am doing today to tame all these negative emotions about Monday holidays:
- My gratitude list. I have a job I love. I’m my own boss. I have a husband that is a hands on dad and is home making memories with our children, etc.
- I try and cluster the clients that are willing to come in on a holiday so that I can try and have some family time. Today I had a few hours in the morning and I will make it home for dinner and bedtime.
- Make the time together special. I’m not usually home for dinner on Mondays, so we make a special dinner or go out with friends, etc.
I guess the 4th item on my list would be that I wrote this post. I spoke my truth, I vented, and I’m letting it go.
I’m not saying I’m not wishing for a vacation…because I REALLY want a vacation. But I’m accepting of today and I’m just an hour away from going home for some much needed family time!