Who doesn’t love some lemonade?
Ok so I know that alcohol isn’t the healthiest of coping skills but sometimes responsibly and in moderation, it is just what a stressed out mom needs…. Just sayin’.
So you may remember my idea of taking not so pleasant parenting situations and coming up with ways of making lemonade out of lemons so to speak. The first edition was on sleep training (glad that’s over!).
Well I’m ready for round two: Husband traveling out of town.
Here we go.
How to make Lemonade (possibly with Vodka…I’m just sayin’) Out Of Lemons: Husband traveling out of town.
Now your husband may not travel for work as much as mine does or even at all. Maybe he has a guys night out or a weekend away or is in bed with the flu. This still applies. Actually if he’s in bed with the flu, double the vodka and get a hotel room. Sick men are the worst.
If you are a single mom reading this feel free to laugh and shake your head at me and sip that well deserved wine. I know, I’m a baby, but I am not cut out for single parenthood. I respect and bow to you. but I need a lemonade recipe to get through these weeks of doing it on my own… which brings me to number one.
1. Don’t do it alone!
Enlist any help you can. I’m lucky to have family near by, but I also have amazing friends that in a pinch would help if needed. I also make my colleagues and bosses aware the week could be rough, I might be a little late or leaving early, but will do my best to make it work.
Side note: my husband and I are only children so our parents are in awe of this “two little ones” thing. They offer to help at night, but I don’t really need as much help at night because I can turn on a show (don’t judge), put the baby to bed, and then focus on the toddler and his bedtime routine. I need help for pick up sometimes depending on work, and I need help at 6:45 in the morning when everyone is awake at once and needs something but no one wants to help then so….
2. I get up an hour early.
You can do this. It sucks but you can do it. For the first five minutes I curse the world but then I realize it really it really reduces my stress. I get myself all ready and even load the car. Sometimes I’m even blessed with a few quiet minutes to do nothing this really helps build up my reserve.
3. Make a list of things you want to do, watch, eat etc. that your husband either doesn’t like or care about.
I try and pick one thing a night from this list to enjoy with out him. It helps me miss him a little less and feels like a reward for surviving the day. So an example would be kids asleep, put on those hideous pants you have had for 20 years with holes and stains that are so comfy you just cant let them go, pour a glass of wine, maybe a pint of ice cream with spoon (no bowl needed) sit on the couch and watch Leah Remini: Scientology And The Aftermath. Err… this of course is a hypothetical example…I totally made it up… I swear.
3b. Do not begin above routine until things are done, you may not ever get up off the couch.
I make lunches, straighten up, shower (don’t judge) etc before I start the reward activity
4. Plan an at-home girls night.
Call an old friend after bedtime you haven’t had time to talk to in awhile. Invite a friend over… for some wine…or ice cream. Catch up, do a craft, watch a movie whatever. It’s important for you to have those sisterhood moments. You know your husband is having a beer with the guys before heading up to his hotel room. Women need this camaraderie too and the little “I feel you” nod at drop off with a big coat hiding your pajamas does not count!
5. Call your husband.
This is a great time to tell him he is missed, loved, and appreciated. It is easy to get caught up in the speed of life, and you can go days with your communication being:
Did you take out the trash?
I made lunches yesterday, it’s your turn.
This is a great time to say,
Life is better when we are a team.
5b. Tell him what he is missing.
I don’t mean all the negative, but you can throw an obstacle or tantrum you overcame in there. Tell him the fun stuff, something funny your son said or an award your daughter got. Make sure he is missing you too 🙂
6. Breathe and believe in yourself.
You’ve got this. You are the mom; no one can do it better. Also, it’s temporary, and if teeth don’t get brushed one night or the trash doesn’t get taken out, the earth will still turn and life will go on.
Find the joy in the experience…it’s there somewhere I promise.