I always wanted three kids.
To be exact, I wanted a boy, a girl, and then another boy. In hindsight, I am glad I had the girl first because after having my boy, I don’t think we would have had any more children. We would’ve been finished having babies right then and there.
I met my husband when I was 29 years old. I knew what I wanted and laid it out for him: get married and start having babies. We got married at 32 years old and had our first a year and half later. While I was on maternity leave I joined a mommy and me group. I quickly realized I was the oldest mommy in the group. And while they were all talking about how many kids they wanted, it became clear that I might not be able to have those 3 babies that I once wanted. I wanted to have time with just my one and we still had to find that perfect house to raise our family.
Two years later, we eventually found our starter house and knew it was time to start trying for our second.
3 + 1 = Family of 4
Our son was born in March, and that first year as a family of four was the most difficult time in our marriage. We had just gotten used to the routine we had and then threw another kid into the mix. It became very stressful, let alone the fact that he was a very difficult baby. (read my previous post on how we call him our P.I.T.A)
During his first year, we said “No way. Not even. Yeah right!” to the idea of adding a third.
Less than six months later in August, my husband and I decided to commemorate our family by getting similar but different tattoos incorporating our children’s names. Because, what else do parents do when they have a date night (wink, wink).
We knew that by doing this, it was an unspoken decision that we would be done procreating.
After getting the tattoos, I continued to joke around and dream about the idea of having just one more. My husband continued to tell me that he couldn’t have one more name tattooed on him and that we were done.
One year after having my last child, my husband and I decided it was time for him to do the ultimate sacrifice for our family and get snipped. To commemorate this milestone, my husband even wrote this card – he’s quite the poet isn’t he? HAHA! (Warning: text and drawings may be NSFW!)
Of course, I still think about all of the what if’s. But, then I look at the beautiful family we have created and realize we made the right decision.
Are you done having babies? How did you know you were ready to close that chapter of your life?