So here’s the thing, my kids are AMAZING!
Don’t worry, it is not a competition. I’m sure your kids are amazing too. All kids are, in their own way, at their own speed.
It occurred to me the other day that we don’t publicly talk about it enough.
Maybe this is a society thing. There is so much competition and judgement, we don’t want to seem like we are bragging.
The other day a male friend of mine mentioned he was sitting one table over from a group of women and he could hear them bashing their husbands for over an hour. He asked me if this was the norm. I told him not for me, but I think for some. My husband and I made a decision early in our relationship that publicly we would try and always be a united front and frankly I’m lucky. I don’t really have anything to bash anyway.
That being said I do find myself laughing and eye rolling about the little annoyances and differences between husbands and wives with my girl friends.
We also do this in regards to the difficulties with our kids.
I think to some degree it is a healthy release. But I worry it has becomes such the norm that we are overshadowing the good with the not so good.
Even in my posts on this blog I have noticed that I focus on the difficulties, always trying to make positive suggestions or end with optimism. But nevertheless glossing over the joys and triumphs.
I stopped and thought if some day my kids read this blog (newsflash: the internet is forever) would they think I sludged (I made that word up, deal with it) through the muck of parenting and just tolerated them?
So kids, this is for you!
My kids are AMAZING.
The majority of the time my life is improved by being their mom. I learn and grow daily and I laugh and feel more love and joy than I ever imagined possible.
Before kids, I would quietly and intimately tell my husband he was the best decision I ever have made. Now we look at each other and say our children are.
My love for my kids is bigger than any love I have ever known and has just enhanced and deepened the love I have for their father.
Now let me get specific:
My son. He is smart and thoughtful, as well as thought provoking. He asks questions that make me think and are challenging.
He is very empathetic (I like to think he inherited that from me). He seems to feel other people’s feelings with compassion.
I hope I can help him hone this skill so it is a superpower instead of an obstacle. (FYI this therapist believes being a sensitive person is not positive or negative. It is what you do with that sensitivity…but that is a whole other post.)
He is also so funny. He makes me laugh daily…. Both my kids do.
I think he is developing his Daddy’s love and talent for music and I’m excited to watch that grow.
He is not an alpha but he is learning to have a voice and advocate for himself, and this brings me pride to watch. He seems to also be learning to be a good friend and family member and the benefits of that.
He also loves his Jewish identity. His school, the songs, and holidays, all bring him joy and pride which makes my heart want to burst.
His little sister…now she is the alpha! She is strong physically and with her will and desires.
I have never met a little baby/toddler with more joy in her face. She belly laughs and it can improve any mood. Her joy washes away any stress I have from the world outside.
She is mischievous and understands how to be playful and tease.
She looks pretty darn cute in the girly clothes but she also will be filthy and not care. She also loves eating like a teenage boy. I might need a second job just to fill her belly.
She is fearless!
Most days I’m just interested in keeping her alive. However, it is also so fun to watch her observe and learn new things.
She is dramatic. Now this can be tough when it is a negative emotion. But when she is happy or excited it is amazing to experience. No one has ever been so excited to see me and life is complete.
She’s not much of a talker yet but she understands everything and it is amazing watching her complete tasks or keep up with the big kids.
She never stops moving, such a ball of energy. However, at bedtime she puts her head on your shoulder and snuggles in and I close my eyes and soak it all in.
I am SO INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL for my AMAZING children.
It is easy in the busy grind of life to mention the complaints or the outlier moments. But when I stop and take a breath, I realize the day to day norm is pretty great.
Life is good.