Friday, January 8, 2016: the day we took my almost 4-year-old to Disneyland.
It was the longest day of my life.
Okay, okay. I won’t get all dramatic, because it was pretty fantastic, but… the day got off to a less-than-stellar start.
6:00 am:
Hotel wake-up call.
The plan: sleep over the night before, get to bed early, get up early and enter the park when it opens at 8:00 am.
The reality: the kid went to sleep at 11:30 pm!
6:20 am:
I FINALLY manage to wake up the kid (next to me in one bed), and hubby (in the OTHER bed, by himself).
6:30 am:
The time we were supposed to leave for the park…
6:50 am:
Free continental breakfast at the hotel… which is under construction.
So breakfast is at the pool house… which is outside. WHERE IT’S 48 DEGREES.
The kid is SCREAMING bloody murder that it’s too cold, she’s not hungry, and she wants to stay in the car with the heat on.
An auspicious beginning.
7:15 am:
Woo-hoo! The Disneyland parking lot!!! … where the freezing child from a few minutes ago now refuses to put on her coat. She then informs us she is not leaving the car and, in fact, just wants to GO HOME.
(At this point, I’m watching TONS of people pass by! Doesn’t she understand that we have to go? Mama has a plan! DO NOT DEVIATE FROM THE PLAN!!!)
While I point out that EVERY OTHER KID is laughing, smiling and SKIPPING through the parking lot — as she screams – hubby and I proceed to pull, drag and stuff her into the stroller that she is waaaayyyyy too big for. Then we squish in the backpack, food bag, folding picnic mat, stadium blanket and extra coats… and we head off to the tram stop.
7:35 am:
The tram! Woo-hoo! Basically her first “ride” at Disneyland!! And… her first line.
What? We have to take EVERYTHING – including her – out of the stroller and fold it up? THEN WHAT IS THE POINT OF HAVING A STROLLER?
And there she sits: arms folded across her chest, wailing about the cold and screaming for us to” take away the wind.”
The happiest place on earth, indeed.
7:50 am:
We FINALLY arrive at the main gate. But you would think we are at an airport in Israel, because that’s how long it takes security to check our 80 bags.
As I nervously watch long lines forming outside the park entrance, we go off in search of Guest Relations to claim our free tickets!
Wow! “Happy Birthday” and “1st Time Visitor” buttons for the kid? I even get my own “I’m celebrating” button. Good times.
As I pin the buttons to her Princess Aurora gown, I remind her of the conversation we’ve had every day for a week: “Remember Mommy and Daddy told you we were taking you to Disneyland for your birthday? Well that’s why we’re going to pretend that today is your birthday, okay?”
“NO Mommy! I am still 3. My ACTUAL birthday is January 27.”
(sigh) Why do we bother to teach them anything, anyway?
8:10 am:
But wait! A restroom! Cue the long argument: even though she doesn’t think the pee-pee will come out, it’s better to try now than once we are on line for a ride.
The kid finally agrees, but insists on going with Daddy to the Boys Room. Oy! (Wishing Daddy luck holding up the extra-long, extra-poofy Aurora gown.)
Success! “Mommy – the pee-pee DID come out!” (And to Daddy’s credit, the dress wasn’t that wet…)
8:25 am:
OMG! We are inside The Magic Kingdom!!! It only took 2 ½ hours!!
According to Mommy’s plan, we need to make a beeline to Fantasyland.
Move it, People, move it!
But first: the requisite photos with the castle behind us, of course. A Pro photographer stops to help us, but the kid doesn’t crack a smile – NOT FOR A SINGLE PICTURE!
Then, we hear the words that will change everything.
“I know where the princesses are. Would you like to meet them?”
8:45 am:
We arrive at (drum roll, please)… THE ROYAL HALL!!!
“Now greeting guests: Cinderella, Belle and Snow White.” Wow! And there is NO LINE.
As we turn the corner and see Cinderella, the look on the kid’s face is indescribable.
It’s Dorothy in Oz!
It’s me walking the red carpet at the Oscars!
It’s as if Kurt Cobain rose from the dead just to meet my husband!
Watching our daughter interact with the princesses brought actual tears to my eyes. It was perfect. Amazing. Couldn’t have asked for more. My kid’s life was now complete. I looked at hubby and said “We can leave now. Mission accomplished.”
Until we hear… “But Mommy, where’s Ariel? And Aurora?”
…and there it is.
Oh Disneyland! You are the Happiest Place On Earth – as long as we leave before my daughter realizes she hasn’t seen EVERY princess!
