Have You Ever Taken a Two-Year-Old Anywhere?

Seriously.  Have you ever taken a two-year-old anywhere?  I have two littles.  The first one is now four-years-old and I don’t really remember having the amount of anxiety I have now when going out in public.

Just the other day I had to take my boys in for a well-check.  

HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN YOUR TWO-YEAR-OLD TO THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE?!

Not only was I running around the office trying to prevent my child from licking every single surface, but I was also trying to LOOK LIKE I HAD IT TOGETHER.

Which I definitely didn’t.

My son was climbing into someone’s wheelchair and spinning in circles until he fell flat on his face and then began laughing hysterically.

And that all happened while I was trying to fill out the forms BEFORE WE ENTERED THE OFFICE.

Once inside the office, he decided to make the patient table is ultimate-playground.  And tried no less than three times to electrocute himself.  

After repeatedly saying NO, NO, NO!!  I attempted to restrain him.  However, that proved futile as he kicks REALLY hard.

Then there was the computer keyboard which was hanging right at his eye-level.  And I am really sorry to the staff as my child repeatedly banged on those keys.  I tried to stop him and box him out, but then he would just run straight towards the hazardous waste bin and attempt to dismantle that!

Honestly, I realize that not everything can be kid proof, but can we at least get the hazardous waste bin off the ground and not have it bright red.  It basically screams “Hey kids, please come touch me and lick me!!  I’m SUPER FUN!”

After waiting for what seemed like the entire length of all three Lord of the Rings movies (extended editions) the doctor finally came in.

At this point, my ever so well-behaved son was lying on the ground kicking his feet in the air and screaming Happy Birthday!  Or at least his form of Happy Birthday.

I was just happy he wasn’t trying to pull all of the cords out of the wall at that point.  He was stationary.

When I got home from the visit I told my husband that I had never in my life felt more like popping a Xanax.  And I’ve never even had one, but something inside me told me this would be the time to do it!

What toddler stories do you have?  I can’t be the only one, right?!