This post is part of our Women’s Health Editorial Series, brought to you by Caduceus Medical Group, Facial Aesthetic Concepts, and Zammex. We hope these pieces provide you with helpful information, encouragement, and insight about your health.
Sex. Moms still have sex. Moms also joke about sex, or rather about never having sex. But is it me, or has sex changed a lot since having children? And not just because I pushed an actual human out of my body, but the daily grind of having children can make sex turn into a chore.
And no one wants to do chores.
So, what’s the deal?
Personally, after having my children I find myself wanting to have sex, but at the same time not wanting to put forth the effort to actually have sex.
It’s not exactly a good combination.
I can probably come up with a good list of excuses as to why I’m not in the mood. I’m exhausted, I want to watch Netflix, I don’t feel good about how I look, I’m afraid the kids are going to barge in, the kid is actually sleeping in our bed.
Everyone has a different sexual need – so how do you make sure that your needs are met?
Have the talk.
Yes, have the talk with your partner. You may be surprised to find that their needs have changed since having children too! We all know communication is the key – and it really is. The more open you are about sex the more likely your partner will be open with you. AND expressing yourself will help you both to have a deeper connection.
Be honest with yourself and be honest about your expectations for yourself. I think we can so often fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to other people. Sometimes talking to a friend about frequency can make you feel bad if you’re not as frequent. But your friend and her partner may have different needs.
Sex and a healthy lifestyle
Most of us would agree that sex is part of a healthy lifestyle and relationship.
Just because you’ve had children doesn’t mean that your sex life has to die. Things may be different, but being honest with yourself and your partner will ensure a healthy sex life for years to come.
